The Mind of an Amateur Writer
My excruciating story about writing and its process.
I always say to myself that I wanted to become a writer. But when I ponder on it, it becomes vague. Because I don’t have any clear idea or image on what kind of writer I would become. I always get overwhelmed by thinking about what should I write about, what style, what structure, or the correct syntax. And that’s where my problem starts.
When I feel the need to write, I always end up having a “later syndrome” or keep on procrastinating. Delaying myself hoping that a dollar worth of idea would eventually come out. In some cases, I feel like I don’t have enough ideas or afraid that I would run out of words to write. Turning thoughts into written form is also a difficult part of the writing process, as you don’t know where it might lead you. I think it’s better that way because writing is also a jigsaw puzzle, you just keep on piecing the parts together to form a picture.
I know I can do it but what’s stopping me?
Things on my desk, some random thoughts, sudden hunger pangs, distant minimal noises coming from the neighborhood. I know these things are trifle — trifle as it is, it can create a devastating distraction for me. Or maybe I get so easily distracted by these trifling things. I think I should need a noise-canceling room. But even if I go into the room, quietness can be deafening too — which is uncomfortable for me to write. I should just overcome these matters and be immune to these trivial distractions. Get myself on it and write relentlessly.
Okay, so I overcome those distractions and starting to get a grip on writing, picking up the pace and rhythm, then finished. What’s next?
Self-editing. The apex of every writer’s writing process. After writing, a little furnishing for some run-ons to attain clarity. The sentence needs some polishing for prestige and coherence of words.
Editing can be grueling. With that in mind, I always get anxious because there’s a second thought saying in my mind, “No, wait there’s more, you have to add a little of this and that” and eventually I get discouraged by that lousy mischievous thought. Instead of having the opportunity to express my ideas, I missed that opportunity. A good piece of writing comes with good editing as they say.
Getting published to showcase my writing to the outside world.
I am also reluctant of publishing my write-ups before. I’m afraid of criticism and I feel my ideas are so inferior that it’s just worthless and useless to publish it. Who cares? People won’t read this at all, why even bother? With that in mind, I still have the urge to continue writing and pursue it no matter what just to improve and become a better writer. Repetition is the key to success. I certainly know even if I published a couple hundred of my writings it will still suck at all. As long as I continue to write, there’s a possibility for success albeit it’s low, at least I’m trying.
These things are the process and agony I’m still experiencing as a writer. Maybe some writers didn’t experience this. I envy you. But if you are experiencing this, hello there, friend. Keep on writing and carry on. We still have a lot of writing to do.
